Short jokes
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
it was just a prank bro.
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.