Short jokes
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.