Short jokes
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.