Short jokes
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!