Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
Short Jokes
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
