Short jokes
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
What is George Floyd's favorite song?
"Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.