Short jokes
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.
You should go back into the abortion bucket. Maybe you'll find half a brain in there.
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
My username good.
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!