Short jokes
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
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I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Indian porn
Ooooh oooh oooh
Baaaaaa
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.