Short jokes
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.