I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Short Jokes
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
