Short jokes
Who is the king of Reddit?
Sam Ryan.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?