Short jokes
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.