Short jokes
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly disappointing.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?