Short jokes
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"You have a great singer inside you."
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
Why did the emo leave the bar?
Because it was happy hour.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.