Short jokes

What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?

A: Garry Glitter's boots.

Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?

A: He could not use his mother's credit card.

Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?

What do you call my sister?

Suicidal.

Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?

My friend: What?

Me: The Suicide Squad.

I hate life, and I'm gay.

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!

What did the twin tower say to the other?

"I need to catch this plane."

What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.

Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Omnom.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?

Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.

"Hee hee touch my pp."