Short jokes
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!