Short jokes
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
A baby seal walks into a club...
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What hangs low?
Balls.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
#takemebacksophie
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!