Short jokes
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.