Short jokes
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
What does the ocean do to its friends? It waves. (*Sorry, I wasn’t making any jokes for a while. I was getting sick of this thing.*)
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
"Nihha scarborough face."
Fraser smells.
A termite walks into the bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
Are you fin-ished with your work?
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.