Short jokes
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.