Short jokes
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way