Short jokes

My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?

Experience.

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

- Mommy, I want a bicycle!

- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!

Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*

What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?

The Final Cut.

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?

One comes out of the chamber.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said, "but the world is round."

I said, babe, you are my world.

if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way

Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?

It has better reflexes than the twin towers.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!