Short jokes
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.