Short jokes
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
Gays: "I like men."
Straight: "I like women."
Bisexual: "A hole is a hole."
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.