Short jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Ali-A
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.