Short jokes
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Ukraine (🇺🇦) vs Russia (🇷🇺), place your bets!
I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.
What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it wanted to look up a 10 year old girl’s skirt.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.
It gave me a discount!
You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."