Short jokes
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.