Short jokes
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.