Short jokes

Short jokes

Bird

What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?

A brrrrrrrr-d!

Abuse

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...

Masturbation

Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?

Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.

Gun

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

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  • Camera

    You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

  • 1
  • Murder

    What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!

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  • Zone

    I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"

  • 1
  • Super glue

    A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"

  • 1
  • Password

    ENTER PASSWORD.

    WRONG.

    WRONG.

    WRONG.

    WRONG.

    WRONG.

    WRONG.

    RESET PASSWORD.

    NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

    Sets fire to computer.

    Jesus

    What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?

    "Holy shit, I burnt one."

    Porn

    Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

    Priest

    My uncle was a priest.

    He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans like emos?

    Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.

    Fan

    How do you get a million fans?

    Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.