Short jokes
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
My dog died. I'm so sad.
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?