Short jokes
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
Whatβs the difference between women and condoms?
There isnβt a difference; theyβre both throw aways.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. ππ€ͺπ
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.