Short jokes

What do you call a stoner when horny?

A weed whacker!

What dinosaur loves music?

The velociRAPtor!

Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.

Palpatine: Knew it.

Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.

Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.

I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.

Why was the sheep arrested?

Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.

How do clarinet players play a song?

They reed their music.

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

My friend David lost his ID.

Now he is just Dav.

Ya gotta hand it to short people...

What did the dirt say to the embers?

You look smoking hot.

Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

What burns up a football stadium?

A football match.

My hips can't move, but Heineken.

What do you call a skeleton's omelet?

A bonelet.

My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.

Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!