Short jokes
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Anal intercourse is for assholes.