Short jokes
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
The "f" in orphan stands for family.
Except there is no "f."
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Yo mama's so ugly even cartoon cat eyes got little.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.