Short jokes
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
My hips can't move, but Heineken.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.