Short jokes
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
F*ck you.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...