Short jokes
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.