Short jokes
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
It's not incest if you're adopted.