Short jokes
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.