Short jokes
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."
El/11: Ego, My Lego.
When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."
People on the Titanic were cracking up at my jokes, so did the Titanic. No, really, the Titanic cracked in half!
What's Jack's favorite flower? A rose.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.