Short jokes
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).
The F in orphans stands for family...
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
What does LMAO mean?
Launching missiles at orphanage.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!