Short jokes
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy