Short jokes
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
What do orphans play on Roblox?
Adopt Me.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
It's a Italy day outside the fields.