Short jokes
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Alpha Kenny body?
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!