Short jokes

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?

My dick.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

Name: Jack, call sign "triple".

School: Nova corps gun academy.

Location: Wyoming mountains.

I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."

On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because KFC was offering free seeds.

First bite: Oh my God!

Second bite: Oh my, God!

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

What's the difference between sex and mental illness?

Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.

Gay is a mental illness.

You're not thinking straight.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"