Short jokes
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What’s the only reason Emos drink?
To get hungover.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.