Short jokes
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
Fatherless jokes.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
I wish they taught 9/11 at school.
It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨
Have you played the game Imagine Dragons? Imagine draggin' deez nuts!
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.
If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.
That face needing some laughing pills.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this đź« ?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!