Short jokes
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
You call it Hell. I call it Saunaworld DX.
Rot in hell?
More like nasty-ass thot in a well.