Short jokes
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
What's Japan's favorite hot sauce?
Da Bomb.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!