Short jokes
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
*Enter password*
"ScoobyDoo"
"Password must contain special character."
"ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
Uhhhh ohhhhhhh yea (moan).
The F in orphans stands for family...
Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.