Short jokes
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
"Alexa, open Kahoot!"
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
That shit was trash. You can't handle me.
Hold up. Aren't you Nathaniel B.?
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.