Short jokes
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
Hehe.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!