Short jokes

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."

I have no idea how he knew.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

POV: You make an emo Mr. Beast.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

How do you kill Hellen Keller?

Take her on a walk off a cliff.

Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.

Man: Ouch!

What's the difference between a Black person and a White person? Nothing, are you racist?

I said to the fish, "I have dam."