Short jokes

I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."

"Why?"

"Because I want to hang!"

Girl, you and slow are slower than a fairness.

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?

"They forgot the stuffing!"

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

what's a depressed person's favorite game?

hangman

Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.

Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.