Short jokes
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
My anus smells.
User name is Nico Belick.
What's 1 + 1?
It's sad someone has ligma.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
The 9/11 and the Spanish flu are kind of similar.
The Spanish flu was a very dangerous flu, and in 9/11, something very dangerous flew.
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"