Short jokes
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪