Short jokes
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
Random: What are your hobbies?
Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
No one gives a fuck.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.