Short jokes
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?
Because his keys were inside of the ignition.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
Talk to me if you are online.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
"I have a three-head."
"I have a four-head."
Bald people have a seven-head.
What’s worse than a girl getting a period?
A boy getting a period.
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why don’t I like shafting?
It feels squishy.