Short jokes
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
When I was your age, we had Wacko Jacko, not Florida Man.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
Braken Rodrgrigous?
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?
Because his keys were inside of the ignition.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
Talk to me if you are online.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"