Short jokes
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
What’s an orphan's high school nickname?
Lone stone.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!