Short jokes
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
How did the rich save the poor?
They didn't let them in the Titanic.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!
A girl has small balls.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Messi is really messy.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."