Short jokes

Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

Why do orphans air?

It’s invisible just like their parents.

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.

What did the eagle say to Obama?

He said: "Joe Mama!"

A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.

Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!