Short jokes
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Allah akbar.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
Wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.