Short jokes

Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?

joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

Trevor Bauer for President.

You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?

The Two Towers.

What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

"What time is it?"

"Daytime."

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!

You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.

You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!