Short jokes

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

Spread the cat gun.

I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?

I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?

Space Invaders.

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?

Because he can’t sniff their hair.

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

Neither of them respect boundaries.

Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?

One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!

You shall feel ashamed of yourself!

Take the L! - Losers

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!

TONIGHT

FOR FUN

YEAH YEAH YEAH

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

Other man: How do you know that?

Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

Other man: John...h-how do you know that!