Short jokes
Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
Bush is innocent, he's white...
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.