Short jokes

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?

Winston Churchill.

Gnome.

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.

I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?

On Black Friday!!!

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"

Why did the sped kid get expelled?

Because he was tardy.

Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."

Baby: "Lmao, same"

Hoi!

How does a train sneeze?

It goes, "A-choo choo!"

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home.

Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!