Short jokes

Short jokes

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?

Because they never came home.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!

Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."