Short jokes
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.
Your hairline receded just like your father did years ago.
Why can't white people go to Blackpool? Cuz they're not black.
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.
Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.