Harm

Harm Jokes

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

1

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."