Harm Jokes

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

Go commit neck rope.

I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.

Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got 5 fingers, she will get 2.