Short jokes

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?

Lights are hanging.

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?

Neither does he.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

I'm gonna cut my life off.

What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?

Naked and Afraid.

Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?

Because then, it would be a foot.

Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).

"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War.

"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."

- Sun Tzu

"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.

"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

"You cannot win a war without a war."

-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food