Short jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

The cat is actually cute.

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

Why did the cow go to outer space?

To see the moooon!

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...

It don't moan when u put milk inside.

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?

Murder.

Why do emo kids hate high fives?

They’re always left hanging.

Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!

My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.

"I’m coming for you two!"

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!