Short jokes
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Batman on gender equality: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/I36ypJEyYpo
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.