Short jokes
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.