Short jokes
I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
Huggy's so fat, Playtime Co. had to make him a monument of fatness.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.
Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.
What do you call a Black Iron Man?
Robert Browny Jr.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.