Short jokes
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Phone: YEETED.
TikTok: DELETED.
Therapy: NEEDED.
Wife: BEATED.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.