Short jokes
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
What do Somalians excel at in the United States?
Welfare fraud.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
Wanna hear a joke?
Police brutality.
Want to hear a joke?
Women's Rights.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
What is fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
Why are Black people afraid of ghosts?
Because ghosts remind them of the KKK.
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.