Short jokes
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!
You're in One Piece because they're looking for your hairline.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.